If you’ve ever met me, or have at least perused this blog, you’ll know that I couldn’t give a flying frack about the “fear of missing out” [aka FOMO], which actually happens to be a HUGE problem among the style/beauty blogging community…
FOMO = Fear of Missing Out
JOMO = Joy of Missing Out
If you read enough fashion-related blogs, you’ll find that there are far too many bloggers out there who insist on buying all the latest trends [whether they’re actually flattering or not], attending all the ‘cool’ events, etc, and yet insist that they are ‘individuals’ and worthy of attention, free swag, and gods know what else.. But they are sheep! There is absolutely nothing unique about what they are contributing to the world. These people suffer from FOMO, and are just wanting to ‘fit in’ with the rest of the crowd.
And that’s completely understandable- we all want to feel accepted and liked by others. But what these people are misunderstanding is the mere fact that if they are just following the crowd, there is nothing unique about them. They are lying to themselves to save their egos [which is a very common human trait- we tend to see only what we want to see].
I would most definitely consider this a problem- one’s self worth being based on the ideals of others.
Emotions are unavoidable [and often irrational], but that’s why perspective is important.
We, as people [and women especially], can feel any number of things at any given time, without always knowing the reason we feel as such. We can’t always avoid those pangs of jealousy and/or bitterness, but we CAN stop and reconsider from a less biased perspective. [And this is especially important so as not to make bitchy mistakes we’d later regret, as I’m sure we all have at one point or another… ]
Why do you feel FOMO?
This is probably the first and most important question one should ask her/himself. What are the pressures that make you feel you ‘must’ do or have something, or look a certain way? Is it your peers, job, location, etc, etc… on down to plain old vanity? Once we begin to understand the root[s] of our frustrations, we begin to understand ourselves a little better.
What are the things that YOU like?
Forget your friends, your family, the media, whatever… forget all of those opinions.
Now, what are the things that YOU, as an individual, like? Are you into high-waisted shorts, clashing colors/patterns, ridiculously tall boots..? Are you shy in front of the camera and would rather take photos of other people you find fashionable and inspiring? Are you a writer? An artist?
Ideally, the goal is to find your place in the world -what makes you happy- and pursue that.
The switch from FOMO to JOMO…
…is merely about perspective.
I once heard, “The grass is always greener when someone else is smoking it,” and the example is so true in this case. We need to learn how to focus less on what others have [and what we’re lacking], and spend some time looking at ourselves in a more positive light- what makes us [truly] beautiful, and different from everyone else?
It’s a process… things surely aren’t going to just change overnight. But with time, gratitude for what we do have, and daily repetition of this kind of thinking, it’ll happen. [In other words, it’s called ‘growing up’.]
Live every day as a celebration, being the best ‘you’ you can be, and the rest will come..
Do you struggle with FOMO?